Monday, December 17, 2007

I'm Vexed

So, I realized something tonight.....I am having difficulty allowing myself to feel comfortable in our new apartment. Don't get me wrong, I love it. Angie and I have already made it feel more like home. Friends and family have already come over and helped us make some great memories. Friends and family have also loaned us stuff to furnish the home, which is greatly appreciated. But the problem is this.....since we moved out of our apartment in Ancona, we have stayed in approximately eight different bedrooms in seven different places. Some of those were hotels, some were by the hospitality of friends or family, yet none were for very long.

We moved out of our apartment on October 23, which is about eight weeks ago. That means we have stayed in as many bedrooms as weeks since moving out of our apartment. That means we have had very little stability. That means my mind has gotten more accustomed to staying briefly in places, than for lengthier periods. And that has created a habit. Now, a couple weeks into our new home, I am realizing the difficulty in letting myself relax. We will be in this apartment six months. It's okay for me to let my hair down.....even thought my hair is short. I don't have to pack up all of my belongings tomorrow, next week or even next month. We can put down some roots. I have met a couple neighbors, "D" and Steve. Seem like two nice enough guys. I want to allow God the opportunity to refresh us while we are here in the states. I want to relax in the Lord. Will I feel that feeling of relaxation? I think so. But I wonder, when that will happen. Will I wake up one morning two months from now, and realize it happened slowly and I missed the transition? My Lord knows. My job is to be content. We don't know the future. We can't trust in the things of this earth. What is a home, but shelter that God has provided. Hasn't He always provided everything for us? Hasn't He always taken care of us in every situation no matter how grim it appeared to be? Yes, yes a thousand times yes. Now, I just need to reconcile my heart and my mind.
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